(150+)Many families celebrate holidays together — even when separated by geographical distances, different faiths, and divorce. While these issues can be challenging, divorced parents may face particularly problematic hurdles when attempting to enjoy the holidays with their young ones. As a parent, you might want nothing more than to spend Christmas morning, Thanksgiving day, or Passover with your child. But what happens if your ex also wants to experience these moments? Your child cannot be in two places at once, and various co-parenting strategies of how to split holidays when divorced may be necessary to streamline these holiday periods.
Consider Addressing Holiday Schedules Ahead of Time
If you can, try to address holiday co-parenting schedules ahead of time. If you agree on how to handle these events before they occur, you can limit disputes to a considerable degree. For example, you might work out a holiday schedule during your initial divorce negotiations. This might take the form of collaborative law, mediation, or arbitration.
During these private negotiations, you and your ex are free to agree on virtually every aspect of the holiday schedule.
Alternative dispute resolution (ADR) is quite flexible, and you can get creative with your holiday planning. For example, you might agree that both parents will alternate each year for major holidays. These might include Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Halloween, Passover, and Ramadan.
For example, a child might spend Christmas with one parent in 2024. In 2025, they would alternate and spend Christmas with the other parent. You can put this alternating schedule into writing to avoid confusion or disagreements in the future.
If parents cannot agree on how to handle child custody, they may need to resolve the dispute in court. In this situation, a family law judge might need to decide every aspect of the custody agreement — including matters related to holiday scheduling. If the judge does not seem willing to make this decision, you can file a motion asking them to do so.
Whether the final decision is made by a judge or the parents, holiday parenting schedules should be finalized as soon as possible. If you wait until the holidays arrive, this could spark unnecessary legal disputes.
Common Solutions for Parenting Time During the Holiday Season
For some parents, the thought of spending even a single Christmas without their children is highly distressing. If you cannot face an alternating schedule, you may be able to divide each Christmas in half. For example, one parent might take the children on Christmas morning – and the other parent might take the children on Christmas afternoon. The same logic applies to other celebrations of equal importance.
What About Christmas Vacations?
Some parents may wish to take their children on vacations during the entire holiday period. These holidays may cause considerable disputes between parents, and they should be addressed ahead of time if possible. The most effective custody agreements contain details on how vacations will be handled by both parents in the future.
Generally speaking, parents need to obtain permission from each other before taking their children on vacation. Permission is particularly important when taking children across state lines, either for domestic or international vacations.
Parents might strike deals with each other on this subject. For example, one parent might agree to let the other parent take the children on a two-week vacation over the winter holidays. In exchange, they might receive permission to take the children on a two-week vacation during the summer months.
Consider Legal Custody as Well as Physical Custody
Parents may also need to consider disputes over legal custody as well as physical custody. While physical custody simply involves how much time the child spends with each parent, legal custody is more complex. Parents with legal custody can make decisions about how they want to raise their children — and shared legal custody is the norm in South Carolina.
How does this affect holiday co-parenting? Many of these holidays are inherently religious, and parents may disagree on which holidays the children should observe. For example, both parents might follow the Christian faith during their marriage.
After divorce, however, one parent might convert to Judaism. This may cause conflicts between the parents, as they may disagree on which faith their children should follow.
In serious cases, parents may attempt to prevent their children from celebrating certain holidays on religious grounds.
These disputes may need to be resolved in court, and they may be impossible to predict because parents can convert to new religions at any time. If one parent wishes to take control of their child’s religious upbringing, they may need to petition for a modification of legal custody.
Everything Depends on the Child’s Best Interests
If holiday co-parenting leads to legal disputes, parents must build their legal strategies around the child’s best interests.
These are very specific factors outlined in South Carolina law, and they are the only things family judges will consider when approaching potential modifications of custody.
For example, when considering a potential vacation during the winter holiday, a judge might consider how this will affect the child’s academic studies. Perhaps they have homework to complete over the holiday period — and the vacation could make their studies more challenging. Substance abuse problems could also become a factor, especially if one parent has a history of drinking heavily during the holidays.
Can a South Carolina Child Custody Lawyer Help With Holiday Co-Parenting?
If you’re unsure how to split holidays when divorced, you’re not alone.
Attorney Angela Frazier can fight effectively for your parental rights. If you’re concerned about not getting enough time with your kids, you have every right to consider your legal options. Angela Frazier understands how precious holiday moments can be. Contact us today to discuss your legal options with our experienced family law attorneys in South Carolina.
